Dear Aunty Kate,

My best friend who is married to my brother, just confessed that the baby she is carrying is not his. She claims that she was raped, but I do not believe her because I would have known!

I am so angry because my brother wants a baby very badly. I want to tell him but he is happy in his marriage.

What should I do?



Dear Angry,

I can understand how something like this would upset you. But let me ask: why don’t you believe that she was raped, and how would you have known?

Rape is someone having sex with another without their consent and that is usually done in private. Research shows that rape victims very seldom tell others of the traumatic experience, and the few who do, do so after a long time. Some never speak of it.

My advice to you is: whatever you believe, or as angry as you may be right now, this is not about you. This about your best friend. Give her the benefit of the doubt. She trusted you enough to tell you something of this magnitude, and that indicates to me how much she values your friendship.

Rape is a criminal offense. Encourage her to speak with her husband. Encourage her to go to the police. Be there for her